UnNews:UK floods turn out to be advertisement for "Evan Almighty"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
UK floods turn out to be advertisement for "Evan Almighty"
Straight talk, from straight faces
Wednesday, May 4, 2016, 08:04:UTC)(
26 July 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
TEWKESBURY, England - Residents of the UK's flood plains breathed a collective sigh of relief today, when it turned out that the floods which have plagued parts of England were simply a huge advertisement for the upcoming movie "Evan Almighty" which opens in Britain next week.
"At least we can get on with the rest of our lives now", said Mikhail Figgis, a publican from Gloucester. "I think it's a pretty good advert actually, really inventive". Mikhail's pub, "The Flying Whores" was drenched in over six feet of water, and Mikhail's son Fernando was infected with E-coli when he came into contact with raw sewage. "I would probably go and watch the film too, but the local cinema is waterlogged!", laughed a damp Mikhail.
The movie, which opens in the UK on Friday, depicts the story of Evan, an "Average Joe" from the US. In a re-enactment of the biblical Noah's Ark story, Evan (played by Steve Carell) is summoned by Morgan Freeman (played by God) to build a huge boat to house two of every animal before a huge flood covers the land. Needless to say, hilarity ensues, as well as countless deaths.
The original idea for the ambitious ad was to flood Britain, then construct an Ark with "Evan Almighty" painted on the side. The boat could not be built however, due to problems with cubits. "My arms are a lot shorter than Paolo's arms" said project manager Olav Lemongrass, who also happens to be a dwarf, "So we ended up massively under-ordering on wood. I ordered five planks of oak when actually we needed ten or twelve".
Steve Carell, who is famous for playing a forty-year-old virgin in TV programme "The Office" was disappointed with the way the advert turned out. "I think it was a bit of a damp squib to be honest. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it was a total washout. Nobody really got it - people were running round in dirty, poisonous water, crying, and I'm not sure "Evan Almighty" was the first thing on their minds. Probably when they sat down and surveyed the damage they thought "Hey, that was a pretty clever promotion", but that's not good enough."
Evan Almighty opens on August 3rd in dry cinemas nationwide, with screeenings expected to swell around the flooded areas.