UnNews:UK Ebola nurse avoids tabloid headline, moves to UnNews instead

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
UK Ebola nurse avoids tabloid headline, moves to UnNews instead

Straight talk, from straight faces

UnNews Logo Potato
Tuesday, March 20, 2018, 16:02:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

24 January 2015


The disease has disappointed major British tabloid newspapers by proving unable to kill any British people yet

CAMBUSLANG, South Lanarkshire -- A conglomerate of British news outlets, including a subdivision of Rupert Murdoch's 'NewsCorp' has told UnNews that they are "devastated" upon finding out that the second UK Ebola nurse to return to the UK has indeed recovered. The medical worker Ricky Cakey fought a tough battle with the disease until it was announced that earlier today the virus had lost. In an interview with UnNews Cakey told us that he had 'mixed feelings' on his recovery:

"I was under a lot of pressure from The Sun to uh succumb to the disease, I was told I would uh be in the papers, and that I would be a very important headline to uh people across the country"

The nurse was clear that UnNews was very much a consolation prize and that he was disappointed to miss the opportunity to appear on a tabloid headline. A spokesmen for 'The daily mail' has expressed "a very real and deep sense of betrayal from the public" in the face of yet another week without any Ebola related deaths. Yet again the British press have been forced to use their alternate headlines, the Sun's being "Immigrants steal pencils from Argos", and have called for Cakey to be banned from news permanently.

edit Sources

Personal tools