UnNews:UK Councils secretly filming rubbish
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
19 June 2013
London, UK -- Most local councils in the UK these days, it can be revealed, are getting video-equipped garbage trucks to make a record of what gets thrown away by citizens - all part of their anti-terrorism initiative. Our sources reveal that the new dustcarts use three cameras mounted at the rear to get a view of rubbish as it enters the crusher. These cameras work at a very high frame rate and record the split-second journey of your rubbish from the bin into the truck. Bag rippers ensure that individual items of rubbish are dispersed at the moment when the bin lifter clangs and shakes at the top of its trajectory. Each piece of video footage is stamped with its GPS location. When the truck goes back to the depot, all the video files are downloaded overnight into the new GCHQ rubbish database and analysed with object-recognition software, producing a 3D image of every item in your bin. If you or a putative terrorist comes under suspicion they can look at the rubbish database and see exactly what you threw away from as long ago as the system was put in.
Critics have expressed concerns that unauthorised access to the database could lead to invasions of privacy but supporters of the scheme say this is a surefire way to catch terrorists making bombs because the system is programmed to raise alarms when it sees certain items. The latest version of software can recognise Brie bombs as well as other unstable foodstuffs and unusual items like unburned empty firework cases and empty packets of sodium chlorate and Semtex.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|