UnNews:U. S. surprised by Putin
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
U. S. surprised by Putin
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 31, 2015, 15:41:UTC)(
11 February 2007
Putin overstepped himself, the American nation contends, when he said the nation’s use of its military resources was as “hyperactive” as Russia’s own thyroid. As a result, Putin said, the rest of the world feels the need to “go nuclear.” Although the U. S. and Russia have, through the diplomatic efforts of their respective capitol cities, forged “close ties” after the September 11, 2001 attack on New York City, “the countries have walked on eggshells in more recent days,” Putin said, “neither wishing to hurt the fault lines of the other.”
Nevertheless, the Russian spokesman said, his nation felt the need to “speak out, as one friend to another, and to say to America: back off!”
Washington, D. C. has suggested that Putin should let his country speak for itself directly, as the U. S. capitol plans to do in an upcoming speech. “The time for using spokesmen as intermediaries between one another has passed,” the city said. “Instead of speaking indirectly to one another, through Putin and Bush, it is time for Russia and America to speak directly and openly.” To this end, Colorado has launched several ICBM’s toward Moscow. “That ought to make an impact,” Denver suggested.