UnNews:U.S. State Department criticizes religious discrimination in Uzbekistan; we're not shitting you
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U.S. State Department criticizes religious discrimination in Uzbekistan; we're not shitting you
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 22, 2015, 23:22 (UTC)
13 November 2006
WASHINGTON, DC-- The U.S. State Department on Monday announced it was adding Uzbekistan to its list of religious freedom violators alongside the states of Iran, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Seattle, Utah, California, Gamma Hromi II in the Hromi Cluster and other such non-Jewish or Southern Baptist states.
The State Department's Ambassador at Large for International Religious Freedom said, "Muslims have long borne the brunt of the government of Uzbekistan's harsh repression. The government continues to target observant Muslims for arrest, often considering conservative Islamic practice to be evidence of extremism and terrorism."
State Department chairman Mitch Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff explained that in Uzbekistan, along with other locations on their list, school-children are often forced to pray to the pagan god of the national religion. "That's just unacceptable," he said. "Some of these so-called 'Gods' have eight arms and an elephant nose. Can you believe that? That doesn't resemble even the loosest interpretation of the Bible."
White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said that the president fully endorses the decision. "The President," he said, "does not condone a government imprisoning members of a particular religion simply because they suspect they're up to no good. Haven't they heard of hababseus cordless-- I mean, coarsest, er, whatever?"
- David Gollust "US Removes Vietnam From List of Religious-Freedom Violators". Voice of America news, November 13, 2006
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