UnNews:U.S. Skier Lindsey Vonn Graces Cover Of uhhh ehhh iii mmmmmm... oh, god...

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U.S. Skier Lindsey Vonn Graces Cover Of uhhh ehhh iii mmmmmm... oh, god...

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out

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5 February 2010


Ehhh... I... Uhhhh... Mmmmmmm....



VANCOUVER, BC - With an ass that gives new meaning to the term "giant slalom", the hottest thing on skis at the Vancouver Winter Games this year is U.S. hottie Lindsey Vonn, and Sports Illustrated is at the forefront of these games' Olympians-I'd-Like-To-Fuck hype.

"Oh, fuck me!" exclaimed U.S. Olympic Team fan Foo GlobalTourniquet when he saw the SI cover featuring Vonn in her best "Don't you wish they skied backwards down the mountain" pose. "I'll tell you this much. If I were a skier, I'd want her to be in front of me. I mean, I'd let her slide down my slopes any time."

Vonn and her delicious meaty sexy self is not without her detractors, however. There are some who take offense to the magazine's promotion of her talents by way of the womanly aspects of them as opposed to the athletic aspects. While it matters little how good she is at her event, for these killjoys political correctness is higher priority than phyical attractiveness, and they are accusing SI of sexualizing her for the purpose of magazine sales.

And they are saying this like it's a bad thing.

In any event, GlobalTourniquet and other U.S. Ski Team fans are eagerly anticipating every event she takes part in this winter. "I don't even think it matters if she medals," he said. "I can guarantee you I'll be buying plenty of Wheaties this spring."

You can see Vonn and her juicy, shapely, ski-suit tight ass in events like the Super-G (a spot many are particularly interested in), downhill and giant slalom at this years winter games. Oh, yeah, baby.

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