UnNews:U.K. to pick up America's debt as dowry
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U.K. to pick up America's debt as dowry
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, December 6, 2016, 16:10:UTC)(
8 August 2011
The Love Grotto, The White House, Washington D.C. -- America's inexplicably huge debt has been transferred to the U.K.'s bank account. It will act as a dowry for the marriage of World Leaders Barack Obama and David Cameron who wed in a private ceremony on Monday morning.
Whilst described by many as a clear "lavender marriage" to levy the USA's debt and to cover up Obama's flaming heterosexuality, the couple have declared "this one's for keeps" and maintain that they are "very much in love with each other."
The agreement (or "official act of recognising the couple's true love for each other") was hashed out early on Monday morning as the FTSE bounced upwards, downwards and from side-to-side.
An official press release from Downing Street announced that Great Britain would "pick up the cheque" for the chasm that is America's finances. It is understood that it is to act as the dowry for the marriage.
It is not the first time that prominent world leaders have fallen deeply in love. George W Bush and Tony Blair maintained a steady "bromance," with Dubya replacing Blair's previous beau, Bill "Pansexual" Clinton. Blair was known to comment that it took "forty-five minutes to arm his Weapon of Mass Destruction. Saddam Hussein also enjoyed a "purely physical" high-profile affair with recently deceased Osama Bin Laden.
Whilst the IRS, or whoever the hell is responsible for handling the finances of the coupling, will be sniffing around for loopholes, White House sources explain that the pairing is "simply the recognition of unearthed emotions" and that the two are "like a couple of love-bugs."
Obama had his audience rolling in the aisles as he explained that "David wears the pants...although I wear pants also."
Cameron, with moist eyes, confessed it truly is a "Special Relationship."