UnNews:Turkeys march at U.S. National Mall

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Turkeys march at U.S. National Mall

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28 November 2014

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Five thousand turkeys marched at the Mall here to protest the forced disappearances of their fellows during the Thanksgiving season. The turkeys demanded that President Obama ensure justice and security.

The march began at the Lincoln Memorial and ended at the Washington Monument. The organizers claimed the march comprised five thousand turkeys. Of these, three thousand turkeys were Anglo-Saxon Protestants. The Mexican-American community was represented by a thousand turkeys, both legal and undocumented. The Asian community was represented by four peacocks, and the African American community sent a hundred turkeys from Congo.

Martin Turkey King, a social activist, was the first speaker of the march. He spoke about the role played turkeys in the birth of the nation:

We and our Native Indian brothers selflessly help the first pilgrims to survive the harsh winter of North America. Many brothers gave their lives for families of pilgrims to reach the Christmas and celebrate the arrival of Santa Claus. And they paid with Thanksgiving Day, an annual turkicide where millions of our brothers are killed for the amusement of American families. The American people expect cooking the body of one of our brothers as a prelude both to watching football and to going into debt on Black Turkey Friday. Today I say to you, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties of the moment, I still have a dream: I dream of a nation in which every turkey will be judged not by white or dark meat but by the content of his stuffing.

The march was supported by human groups like PETA, Greenpeace, and many vegan associations. These groups have called on President Obama to stop these crimes against turkeys and to explore more sustainable Thanksgiving alternatives, such as tofu turkeys and apples that fall from trees.

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