This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
26 January 2012
RADIUMDALE, Idaho -- Although the actual amount of money raised is hard to count under the strobing lights, local housewife Rita Underwood reports that her Tupperware rave is proving to be a huge success.
"I never realized how many people like Tupperware," said Underwood as a glow stick flew overhead. "I don't know why I didn't try this sooner."
Tupperware is normally sold through parties in which salespeople gather friends to sell them the company's line of household storage containers. Underwood said she found out about "raves" when Google Maps accidentally sent her to one when she was trying to find the Radiumdale Bingo Hall.
"My daughter had to explain to me what I had seen," said Underwood, shouting over a techno loop. "And that's when I realized that most of these young people probably didn't have Tupperware. And that's when the light went on up here," she added, tapping her forehead in synchronization with the flashing light in such a way that it looked like she was just pointing to her head.
Although generally incoherent, the crowd gathered at the old Radiumdale Meat Packing Plant for that night's rave were unanimously supportive.
"Wooooooo," said a young woman wearing a t-shirt with RASH on it in glow-in-the-dark paint, shaking a small container filled with lit glowsticks. Nearby, ravers were seen collecting smoke from the fog machine for later use.
Non-ravers were also seen attending the event purely for the Tupperware.
"Yeah, I just need containers for my stuff," said local thrift shop dock worker Jason Loomis, examining some of the larger containers for sale next to the ecstasy. "I have a lot of stuff. Are these SweeTarts?"
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|