UnNews:Tupac reveals he is still alive at Coachella 2012
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
18 April 2012
Tupac Shakur – thought to have died September 13, 1996 just days after being shot – somehow managed to make the ultimate comeback. Tupac performed with Dr. Dre and Snoop, "Hail Mary" and "2 of Amerikaz (sic) Most Wanted" before thousands of awe-struck fans. But how is this all possible?
Early media reports speculated that it was a hologram, but such speculation was dispelled by the man himself.
"What?! Me, dead?" Tupac asked incredulously after his set, answering fans' questions. "What the fuck gave you that idea? No, no, no. To quote Mark Twain: 'The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.' How in the fuck could I have released all those 'posthumous' albums if I were dead, n----r?"
When asked where he's been for almost 16 years, he replied: "I've been living on a nice little island with Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hoffa, John Belushi, and Michael Jackson. These are my homeboys right here. I'm not dead; I've never been more alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive."
He even pulled out a picture to prove it.
When asked whether or not on-again off-again friend Biggie was still alive, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know, man. He's not on the island with my posse." He added that Elvis died last year from the chickenpox, and that Jimmy Hoffa has been dead for 10 years due to old age.
Tupac appared at the festival to promote his upcoming album, Yes2day, 2day, and 2morrow, set for a Summer release.
- Chris Wallace "Tupac still alive, performs Coachella 2012 lineup". MTV News, April 16, 2012. Archived 2012-09-17.
- Amelia Earhart "Tupac Alive at Coachella, performs with Snoop Dogg". ABC News, April 16, 2012. Archived 2012-09-17.