UnNews:Trump takes aim at UnNews

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Trump takes aim at UnNews

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

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4 December 2016

Fake News

This Internet news from a trusted Macedonian service shows that Hillary is a pedophile traitor. UnNews is waiting for definitive disproof before recklessly branding the story "fake."

CYBERSPACE, The Final Frontier -- U.S. President-elect Donald Trump has drawn a big, red bull's eye on the back of news services such as UnNews.

Trump's aides again failed to remove his laptop from his bedroom and he was tweeting again, late Saturday night, that Saturday Night Live — and especially Alec Baldwin's imitation of Trump and his tweeting — was "unwatchable" and that SNL should be taken off the air. Baldwin, for his part, promised he would quit the act if Trump simply disclosed his tax returns, medical records, and transcripts of all his phone calls.

The U.S. President does not program the American television networks — though their executives need an FCC permit merely to pass gas — but Trump is an Honor-Roll student of American history and surely knows that no sooner does a President express an interest than fawning, self-starting subordinates "make it happen," whether Nixon's "plumbers" breaking into doctor's offices after he clearly said, "That would be wrong," Reagan aides laundering profits of secret arms sales into cash for the Nicaraguan contras, and someone other than Hillary Clinton laying out a corpse under a tree at Fort Marcy Park and making it look like a suicide.

Sure enough, within a day, Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN), the spokeswoman for Trump's transition team, told the press that Internet Service Providers should be "obligated" to prevent "bogus news articles" from reaching hungry viewers. A Constitutional way to do so, or even to measure "bogus," was not specified — nor slapping a 35% duty on companies that off-shore work to avoid U.S. regulations faster than Trump can remove them, another thing Trump advocated in his after-midnight tweets. However, reporters around the world are surely trembling in their boots.

Incredibly, some pundits have called even the trusted UnNews service "fake." Thus, there is a palpable risk that the next U.S. President will try to shut us down, perhaps even faster than webhost Wikia "Fandom" tries to eliminate bare tits and "hurtful speech" in favor of Brony fangirl rants.

Internet Archives is a company that maintains a working backup copy of the entire Internet. Founder Brewster Kahle said, with trembling hands, "On November 9th, we woke up to a new administration promising radical change that we need to design for." (Dollars to doughnuts that Kahle had no such concerns with Obama.) However, he said his company will build a carbon copy of the Internet in Canada, a place where carbon paper is especially affordable. It should be safe there from Trump's reach.

UnNews, however, vows it is not leaving Wikia City. After all, good Mexican food is available in walking distance, and you can still step to the side of the beggars on the sidewalk.

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