UnNews:Trump honors victims of 7/11

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Trump honors victims of 7/11

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19 April 2016

Trump wants you

Donald Trump "wants you" — to pull that lever. "It's lever number....Just look for my name."

BUFFALO, New York -- On the day of New York State's winner-take-all Presidential primary, Donald Trump spoke with passion about the victims of the 7/11 attacks.

In a campaign rally at the First Niagara Center here, Trump said, "I watched our police and our firemen down at 7/11, down at the World Trade Center right after it came down."

As this is a U.S. political campaign, it probably means that Trump was greeting casino patrons in Atlantic City on 7/11 and was nowhere near the Twin Towers. Policemen frequently spend hours down at 7/11, just in case a robber comes in. So do firefighters, but firemen were nowhere near the Towers on 7/11, as locomotives bypass Lower Manhattan entirely, for some reason. Policemen, firefighters, and firemen also go to Cumberland Farms and even Wawa, which also have a slush machine and sell corn dogs, but Trump omitted these institutions entirely.

9-11

Americans expect their candidates to remember the real name of the convenience-store chain.

Trump is in a tooth-and-nail battle with Sen. Ted Cruz for the Republican Party nomination. Cruz memorized the U.S. Constitution as a toddler, but Trump is clearly superior at name-calling. Showing he can also get numbers wrong puts Trump in the same league as President Obama, whose campaign famously took him to 57 U.S. states, somehow; and with George W. Bush, who stuck a comparable foot in his mouth about every other day. The numbers gaffe might be the final test that Trump needs to gain a majority of the over 9000 delegates.

Cruz has learned the entire rulebook for the primary. After Trump holds a rally and wins the right to select 50 delegates, Trump flies out and Cruz flies in and guides the actual selection so that all 50 are his guys. However, Cruz has not studied that other rulebook that says you don't disparage an entire state, as when he ridiculed Trump for "reflecting New York values." Trump told his audience New York values are the rescuers who rushed in on that fateful July 11 — and not the politicians who tried to build a mosque on top of the wreckage.

A third Republican candidate, Ohio Governor and son-of-a-mailman John Kasich, may have disqualified himself, as he never gets a single figure wrong reciting the entire Ohio budget on every campaign stop.

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