UnNews:Trout Sues Salmon for Swimming Downstream
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Trout Sues Salmon for Swimming Downstream
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, July 30, 2015, 17:01:UTC)(
28 August 2008
It has been reported today that a trout named Sam Onn (who is not a salmon, but a trout...what a funny name! I mean lol!! It is liek it speels SALMON but it is actually a trout! I neva thought of that! Lololol brb bak hehe g2g) witnessed a salmon named T. Route (HAHA LOLL it happened again! It is liek the names are all liek, you know, lol!!) swimming downstream. Sam Onn (the trout, you big fat ugly douche head!! LOklol) claimed that T. Route (who is the salmon...man I love this job hahahah lolz all round! One lol for me, one lol for you...one lol for me one lol for you...lol!) got "in the way" of all the traffic thus causing him to miss his 9:30 train. Sam Onn (the trout, douche) said the following:
“Fish and visitors smell in three days.”
In response to this, T. Route (the friggin salmon...I am getting sick of this...the bracket man...it all started when I *voice trails off into distance and readers begin to decline their notice of what the bracket man is saying...*) said:
“If today were a fish I'd throw it back”
With all this organised chaos, Sir Barry Mundie is quoted as saying:
"Who here feels like a prawn sandwich?"
This last quote caused much tension to arise as the thought of prawnography was brought up. Sam Onn (...and then she said to me 'I don't love you no more'!....*again, people stop taking notice of the brackets*) claimed that he had nothing to do with the prawnography claims from Sir Barry Mundie.
"I have never even heard of a prawn sandwich!! Are you suggesting that I am a- no! YOU CAN'T BE!! I WILL KILL YOU!! AHH!!!" laughed Sam Onn.
"I was just asking!" claimed Sir Barry Mundie.
"Well I feel like a normal salmon...not really a sandwich...I don't look like a sandwich...or maybe I do. I do respect your opinion however Sir Mundie however I might just take some more Zen courses before I go into anymore detail" screamed T. Route.
At that, the debate was concluded. Sam never had anything to do with any form of prawnography, Sir Barry Mundie was the one who actually committed the offense and T. Route would really like a sandwich.
And the bracket man was never seen again.