UnNews:Trouble afoot for Indian leg thieves
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
22 December 2007
ATLANTIC CITY, New Jersey — Two men who are suspected of having attacked an 80-year-old, self-proclaimed holy man in southern India and chopping off his right leg were apprehended in the Penthouse suite of the Borgata Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, NJ.
Just over a week ago Yanadi Kondaiah, “the man with the Magical leg” as he was known in the town of Loseatibia, India, was attacked and had his leg brutally hacked off with a sickle. Kondaiah who claimed that those who touched his leg would have, “wishes granted and much luck bestowed upon them” survived the unexpected amputation.
Kondaiah told police that the two men had offered him "a great many drinks" as thanks for previously allowing them the use of his magical legs power. “After Mr. Kondaiah passed out drunk, the men chopped off the leg and left him to die. He was most fortunate to be found by passing villagers and taken to a hospital." said Aseem Reddy, the local police investigator, "Sadly these silly superstitions, and this foolish belief in magic remain a common part of our culture and way of life here in India."
The two as yet unidentified men were being comped in the Borgata's Four Star Luxury Penthouse after winning over 1.6 million dollars in just over 12 hours of play. This amazing feat had been reported by the local TV news shows and later picked up by the Cable Networks. The pictures of the lucky winners were seen on CNN by members of the Indian Police Service. Officals immediately contacted the Atlantic City Police Dept. to have the men detained.
A Borgata spokesman had this to say, “It was unbelievable, they couldn’t lose, they played 16 straight shoes of blackjack and never lost a hand. Then the taller one rolled 37 straight 7’s at the crap table. On the the way to the Buffet, they stopped and played a progressive slot machine and hit for 785,000 dollars. It was just the most incredible streak of luck I've ever seen, I swear it was like magic!"
A search of the Penthouse did not turn up the missing leg, but what is believed to be Mr. Kondaiah’s big toe was found attached to a key chain in the smaller man’s pocket. Police were also amazed to find over 900 winning New Jersey scratch-off instant Lottery tickets among the mens possessions.
The men for being held for questioning and probable extradition back to India.