UnNews:Trapped Chilean miners request a very thin Elvis Presley to 'piped' down to them
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
26 August 2010
ATACAMA DESERT, Chile -- Miners trapped inside the San Jose copper and gold mine in northern Chile have asked that an ultra thin Elvis Presley be sent down to join them , 700 metres below the surface.
The 33 men have been entombed in the mine since the start of August when a rock fall cut off all means of escape. Now communications have been established via a special bore hole, the men below are asking about Elvis Presley to the puzzlement of the rescuers. At first they thought the miners just wanted Elvis Presley songs and posters to cheer them up but now it has emerged the miners now want the real Elvis Presley in person.
This is serious news, said Carlos the Digger who is in charge of the rescue mission. We knew it's difficult down there and we just told them that may be down there for quite some time. Now it seems the lads want Elvis Presley 'piped down' to them. I am sure Elvis would have obliged but he's been dead since..when was it...1977?
Concerned that the miners may already be hallucinating in their confined space, a call has been sent out in Chile for any ultra thin Elvis Presley impersonators to come forward and be sent below. Even the President of Chile Sebastian Pinera has made a special plea to the world's media to look for an Elvis style singer who happens to be no fatter than an average sized water pipe to join in the rescue. He does have some of his own suggestions.
Look, we're not choosy anymore. If the miners want an Elvis that thin, we will find one. A size 'zero' model would be fine. All she needs to do is to sing songs like 'Release Me' and 'Way Down' . If they still down there in December, he/she can sing 'Santa Claus Is Back In Town'. We're just keep the lights off so the men won't know it's not the real Elvis.
Despite accusations of bad taste, sensationalism and someone-hoping-to-turn-this-into-a-film, the Chilean government say they are determined to find a super skinny 'Elvis' in time for the country's bicentennial celebration of independence from Spain on September 7th 2010.
- Staff "Chilean miners left trapped half a mile underground". BBC, 08 26, 2010