This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
28 February 2012
KATMANDU, Nepal -- A Shangrilese Yeti who is about the size of a human thumb on Sunday became the world's shortest Yeti ever recorded. A doctor and Guinness World Records official measured the Yeti to confirm his height of 3.7 inches (9.4 centimeters).
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Guinness official Craig Glenday presented the tiny Yeti with two certificates for being the world's shortest living Yeti and the world's shortest Abominable Snowman recorded in Guinness' 57-year history.
"I am very happy. Now I want to travel to foreign countries," the tiny Yeti insinuated by eye-movements and sign language, reporters concluded afterward. He said he has no desire to get a job and pay taxes to King Prachand, and he refused to meet the Maoist leader of Nepal.
The Yeti was found near the remote mountain village, Rhimkholi, about 250 miles (400 kilometers) west of Katmandu, by Gurung Dorje and his youngest brother while they were scouring the snowy area following tiny Yeti footprints. His five brothers are all Yeti believers.
Before being measured in the capital, Katmandu, on Saturday, the Yeti had never seen a doctor and examining physicians say it appears that he has never been seriously ill and died because he lives now. The doctors who saw him at the clinic also found no immediate health problems or other abnormalities, but they were not sure when he stopped growing.
The scientific community had previously regarded tiny Yetis as a legend, given the previous lack of conclusive evidence, yet it always remained one of the most famous creatures of cryptozoology. The tiny Yeti may be considered a sort of parallel to the Tinyfoot of North America.