UnNews:Tom Cruise to sign for Real Madrid
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Tom Cruise to sign for Real Madrid
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, February 27, 2017, 11:51:UTC)(
11 January 2007
Tom Cruise will leave behind the world of pop stardom and enter the cut and thrust of professional football in a bombshell announcement yesterday. During a sensational press conference Real Madrid manager Diego Maradona invieled new signing Tom Cruise. To stifled guffaws and derision Real's latest "Galaxian" was paraded in front of the worlds media. Cruise was given a squad number of 76 and will be utilised in a striker/goalkeeper hybrid role once Maradona has persuaded FIFA to change the ancient rules of Association Football (or "sotcha" to you American readers).
Cruise signed a three year deal dead on the witching hour (as dictated by his scientificationological religion) and will be eligible for Real Madrids next league outing against Barcelona next Sunday, who will also be fielding their own new signing Al Pacino.