UnNews:ToiletBreak: Sequel to PrisonBreak
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
7 March 2008
Singapore -- Toiletbreak, a sequel to Prisonbreak has been announced by Singapore. Toiletbreak, based on Mas Selamat's autobiography, Mein Kampf (My Struggle), will be one of the largest productions by the joint efforts of the Singapore Armed Forces, Singapore Police Force as well as the Singapore Civil Defence.
The lead actor is Mas Selamat Bin Kastari, the alleged leader of the Singapore JI network (St Joseph's Institution). Outside of Singapore, the SJI is known as Singapore's Jemaah Islamiah. Mas Selamat is known for discovering the Singapore's government's plot of hijacking a plane and crashing it into Singapore Changi Airport. In 2001, Mas Selamat and his JI associates had also allegedly discovered the government plans to plant bombs at a train station, the US Embassy, the American Club and other targets, as well as poison Singapore's water system. Scenes will be featuring St Joseph Institution where others like Mas Selamat can be found training there, SCGS (Singapore Chinese Girl's School) will also be used at the part where Mas Selamat supposedly hid after he escaped from the Detention Centre in his autobiography.
Singapore's ministers will be expected to be paid a much higher salary because of this production.
One minister was quoted as saying, "How can you expect our salaries to be the same," expressing a look of shock at our reporter. "The Singapore government is so efficient in handling such a production. Not only this, three of our defence forces are participating in this production. Surely our pay must increase..."
Singapore's government ministers are actually the lowest paid ministers in the world with African ministers taking home the highest salaries.
The Toiletbreak production, predicted experts, will be hailed and painted by other members of SJI as an act of divine intervention. It will place SJI on the world map when the narrative of how Mas Selamat, with the odds stacked up against him, was able to miraculously beat Singapore's security system with spiritual assistance.
In the same way that some extremists perceive Osama bin Laden's continued elusiveness from security forces — despite massive rewards and state-of-the-art intelligence technologies — as the "will of God", the escape portrayed in Toiletbreak may well be interpreted in the same "theological" bent.
What is known about the script is that Mas Selamat is taken by guards for a scheduled visit with his family when at 4:05 pm he requested to use the toilet. That apparently will be the last time he will seen by his prison minders. In the script, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Home Affairs Wong Kan Seng will be telling the media four days later that there had been a "physical breach" at the facility, but will be refusing to elaborate. "An independent investigation is underway and we should not speculate on what and how it happened," he will say.
The rest of the storyline is not of yet available.