UnNews:Today in History!

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Today in History!

Fake News that's honestly fake

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Wednesday, February 21, 2018, 03:31:59 (UTC)

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30 July 2009

Lets take some time to look back on some of our greatest moments in history for July 30th.

1824- The first zombie attack in San Diago, CA.

This grim day is remembered for the victom of the outbreak. Chelz Jean, born 08-18-1823, had awoke to a fresh cup of hot coffee and the mornning paper. On her way out the door, to her fresh start on a new carrer, was mald viciously by a horrifying re-animated corps. This so-called "zombie" had been standing by her mail box, waiting for the unsuspecting Chelz Jean. As she approched the figure in the mornning mist, she could her gurrgles and low moans. When Chels asked if everything was alright, the so-called "zombie" turned with an open mouth and sunk its rotting teeth deep into her skull. A blood curtaling EEEEEEE! filled the silent morrning streets. As blood poured from her head, she stummbled backwards peircing the moist, cold, forhead of the so-called "zombie" with her freshly manicured fingure nails. This was the discovery of how to perminantly incapacitate these awfull abominations. Chelz died shortly there after, brain matter spilling from her skull and soon came back to life only to be beheaded by the hands of her neighbor.

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