UnNews:Toaster PWNs Local Inventor
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4 July 2006
Local inventor Fayt Leingod was in his workshop, working on a top secret project. (He) was working on a machine that could make bread so hot that it would be toasted. This invention was to be known as the toaster. On completion of his final model, he and his friends awaited the big moment of toasting. Cliff was nearby with his mafia crew who were waiting to sell the thing on the blackmarket.
However, while Fayt was holding his head over the toaster the toast amazingly popped out and attached itself to his face. It stayed there for about one minute while Fayt struggled to get it off. When the toast finally let loose, Fayt suffered from severe burns and was immediately rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.
The Toaster faces no charges, but Fayt faces the charges of intentionally hurting a slice of bread. The toaster is also pressing charges of attempted rape. This has been an UnNews Reporting.