UnNews:Time-travelling, English speaking dinosaur explains evolution; Creationists unconvinced

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Time-travelling, English speaking dinosaur explains evolution; Creationists unconvinced

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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7 October 2006

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The evolution of Intelligent Design.

CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts -- Harvard University today received an unexpected lecture from Sparky, the English speaking Stegosaurus whose time machine landed in the Rose Garden of the White House last Tuesday. Before an audience of 5,000 enraptured biology and paeleontology students, Sparky explained how the process of evolution had unfolded over the past 150 million years on Earth, since the Jurassic era in which Sparky himself was born.

In what was an intellectually demanding and fast-paced lecture, Sparky explained how small mammals had eventually evolved into Homo Sapiens, and even described the missing link between humans and monkeys (a mammal which vaguely resembled a chicken and mushroom pie). With a series of graphs and complex mathematical formulae, Sparky proved evolution once and for all to the gathered students.

Intelligent design

There is no spell checker in the Bible.

Some Creationists picketing outside, however, remain unimpressed. Jack Schitt, a leading spokesperson for intelligent design, said, "While we respect Sparky's views, we simply ask that these students receive equal time in which to consider alternatives theories of the origin of the species. For example, there's a Diplodocus in Mexico who swears that he has made by the hands of the Creator 6,000 years ago."

When asked for a quote, President Bush responded by staring at the reporter for three minutes, until a tiny string of dribble dropped out of his gaping mouth.

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