UnNews:Tiger Woods cures cancer
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Tiger Woods cures cancer
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, September 28, 2016, 15:24:UTC)(
21 August 2006
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The treatment comes in the form of a powerful drug made from grass clippings in a golf-ball-sized suppository. Mr. Woods reportedly discovered the cure the week prior while brokering the Israel-Lebanon cease-fire and busting up a child porn ring.
"This is sweet. This is really sweet," said Woods. "This is the first major disease I have cured since my dad passed away."
"We want to get this cure into the hands of the people who need it most as soon as possible," Knight stated. "That is why we are offering a ten percent discount off the price of the drug for anyone who buys a pair of Air Jordans."