UnNews:Three-year-old steals, sells Biden screenplay
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Three-year-old steals, sells Biden screenplay
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 1, 2015, 00:11:UTC)(
8 January 2011
HOLLYWOOD, California -- Three-year-old Milton Dennis of San Diego stole a visionary screenplay from the hands of its author, Vice President Joe Biden, and has reportedly sold it to the Walt Disney Company. The theft interrupted a Biden speech on the floor of the House on Tuesday.
"It's a great script," says Robert Iger, president of the cash-cow-milking studio. "It's basically Mrs. Doubtfire meets The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. A very stylish, sophisticated thriller with plenty of twists and turns. We've already got Jeff Bridges signed on to play the psycotic father who dresses up as a woman in order to nanny his estranged kids."
Bridges is enjoying critical and commercial success in Disney's Tron: Legacy and in Paramount's True Grit. The actor says of the script, "I love it. That kid's got some talent. He goes to Washington, and swipes Joe Biden's screenplay and sells it to Disney. That poetic; it's rare. You don't see that every day. Joe wrote some great stuff here. My character is quite complex, real interesting. His estranged family could be in bodily harm if they hire his disguise to be their nanny. It's like... what if Mrs. Doubtfire had been a thriller?"
He added, "We're trying to ironically get Rebecca De Mornay to play my estranged wife," referring to the fact that she played the psychotic nanny in Cradle. "This movie is gonna kick major ass... because the Dude said so."
The title hasn't been disclosed, but it is expected to be released between Winter 2011 and summer 2012.