UnNews:This world is fucked
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|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
5 August 2007
Many others similarly jaded, but who are not yet themselves the immediate or apparent victims of today's inhumane and supposed civilization, collectively wonder, Why, if all the nutjobs are stuck in mental asylums, is the world so fucked up? And they turn they gaze towards their respective national leaders parading about and sigh, thinking how nice it would be to gather them all in a high-walled confinement and arm them using taxpayer money to allow them to put holes in one another to their heart's content.
Meanwhile, little Johnny stood on a highrise balcony in New York City, where the foul smog spewed forth from that wicked city blocks out the night stars and magnify the city lights with an unnatural glow so they appear as a million angry little eyes staring at poor Johnny. So he yearned and reached for the stars he'd never seen before but knew were there beyond the claws of Mordor and which belonged to him and everyone else- little Johnny's attempt to fly ended disastrously, with an abrupt jolt at the base of the skyscraper.