UnNews:This Article Isn't News
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This Article Isn't News
Straight talk, from straight faces
Thursday, November 26, 2015, 23:27:UTC)(
28 June 2008
UNCYCLOPEDIA, World Wide Web - Yes, as this article already tells you, THIS IS NOT NEWS. Yep, you heard me right. THIS IS NOT NEWS. I'm going to tell you things that aren't new. Like stuff about how the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, and about how Nature is now rated NC-17. Yes, those are not new. Also, Soylent Green is people. I'm sure you've heard that somewhere. If you haven't...well...maybe this article is news after all. But who cares. Oh, yeah. Your family died. And Metal gear solid 4 is satan. Don't forget that tomatoes gained WMD's, and they also replaced a word for "nigger". Cool, huh? The internet ended, too. A man was sentenced to death from jaywalking. What's cool too is that a study proved that UnNews is better than Onion. And somebody sold their soul for a penny on ebay and the guy was british. And all is well. Don't forget that some Mugabe guy hates the netherlands. Oh, and Oscar Wilde found this site and created it. Bet you knew that one. Yeah and there is a euro soccer fan in the U.S. Some teacher got fired for having girlie parts or something. And Oklahoma declared soveringty. That you should know. Well, some guy can't be stopped or something. And there's only to days left to nominate and vote for those award people. Oh! I nearly forgot! Today is June 28! Cool, Huh? Bet you did know that you're on uncylopedia right now. That is definitely something you knew. Don't forget that this article was actually typed instead of written and that the two democrats left in the race are Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. And I bet you knew that This page does not exist. I bet you knew all of this stuff.
You knew my source was my brain, huh?