Theresa May reveals new Brexit plan

Democracy Dies with Dignity

UnNews Logo Potato
Tuesday, December 11, 2018, 04:34:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

17 July 2018


Theresa May's new Brexit policy.

LONDON, United KingdomBritish Prime Minister Theresa May has revealed her Brexit plans so the the UK can leave the European Union 'without drama'. Her plans were so popular with her own government that two senior ministers resigned and others have stopped working or gone off on holiday.

The 'White Paper' as it is called, outlines all the ways the British hope to sneak into the kitchens of the European Union and be able to raid the larder undetected. This was too much for the British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson who complained the Europeans were hiding the promised cake in a padlocked fridge.

Ever since the British referendum on Brexit in June 2016 was won by the Leavers, the issue of disentangling from the European Union has consumed 100% of the UK's time. That is why nothing has been done about anything of note for the last two years. Even the visit of USA President Donald Trump and marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle has failed to shift the conversation.

Former political candidate and resident (legal) alien Lord Buckethead says the Brexit business has 'disrupted the space-time continuum' in England.

If wasn't able to fly away in my own spaceship anytime I chose, this would be a personal tragedy, said Buckethead. When I stood against Theresa May in 2017 in the General Election, I knew she was an inferior human. She is, as you Earthlings say, worse than bloody useless.


Theresa May.


'She didn't listen to me, even when we stood side-by-side'. Lord Buckethead

Theresa May defended her Brexit proposals. She said they were 'rock solid' but could be dynamited to make them fit better if required:

Nothing has changed! Nothing has changed!! I am delivering what the British wanted. It may look shambolic but that is just to fool the Europeans into taking pity on us and giving a fanstastic deal. Theresa May then promptly reversed her car over the Downing Street cat.

Sources Edit