UnNews:There is a spider in the shower
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I gently slid behind the shower curtains, gripped the tap valve tightly when suddenly, I saw eight beady little eyes staring up at me in fear. In them I could see the shower head, dripping to the frantic beat of my heart. I slowly released the valve and the spider gave a slight tremor of relief, a paltry gratitude.
The nerve of that little pest. I cocked my head, as if to show that with the turn of the faucet, he would be drowned in an instant. He cocked his head back at me, and rubbed his legs in response. As if I was supposed to know what that meant. I began to leave, when the spider started towards me. I hesitated.
I was so lonely. Day after day I spent, without emotion, without the passion that makes life vibrant. And yet, with this spider, all that changed. His legs were a multitude of fibers, just waiting to pass on the beauty that made life beautiful. It was then I knew what I had to do. I slowly twirled my legs around his and I saw his web was already attached to his vibrating palps, and oh how how good my epigyne felt! He relaxed in me as I ate his body limb by limb.
edit Mom! There's a spider in the shower and it's eating another one!