UnNews:The real problem with the USA figured out, it was really something in the water!
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
10 March 2008
North America, USA, Washington DC
Most of the world wondered what happened to the USA, what went wrong with it. Scientists worked on it, and started to examine the supply of drinking water in the USA. They found out that there was something in the water causing the strange behavior in Americans. A vast array of pharmaceuticals — including antibiotics, anti-convulsive, mood stabilizers and sex hormones — have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans mostly in the red states. Also found were traces of cocaine, marijuana, LSD, and leftovers of Kitten Huffing. Forcing a majority of Americans to vote for George W. Bush in the 2000 and 2004 elections.
People take pills or drugs. Their bodies absorb some of the medication, but the rest of it passes through and is flushed down the toilet. The wastewater is treated before it is discharged into reservoirs, rivers or lakes. Then, some of the water is cleansed again at drinking water treatment plants and piped to consumers. But most treatments do not remove all drug residue. As a result most Americans are higher than a kite most of the time and their inhibitions are almost non-existent.
A sex hormone was detected in San Francisco's drinking water due to the fact that a majority of transsexuals, cross dressers, and trans gendered people take them for treatments and pass them into the water system. It is said that is how Michael Jackson ended up looking like his sister Janet Jackson from drinking too much water from the San Francisco area.
Even users of bottled water and home filtration systems don't necessarily avoid exposure. Bottlers, some of which simply repackage tap water, do not typically treat or test for pharmaceuticals, according to the industry's main trade group. The same goes for the makers of home filtration systems. Which explains why the American Youths take water bottles to rave clubs all of the time.
Contamination is not confined to the United States. More than 100 different pharmaceuticals have been detected in lakes, rivers, reservoirs and streams throughout the world. Studies have detected pharmaceuticals in waters throughout Asia, Australia, Canada and Europe — even in Swiss lakes and the North Sea. Mostly this is due to the water systems not filtering out the drugs before releasing the water into water supply systems.
When people take drugs, they expect their body to absorb it all. This is not the case as the drugs are passed out via wastes and then recycled back into the public water supply. Since drug abuse is an epidemic in the USA, most people who don't take drugs end up getting drugs from their local water supply and getting high by proxy of the recycled urine of drug users. It is even worse than second hand smoke.
Until the USA spends money upgrading their infrastructures to filter out the drugs in the water, most Americans will be on drugs whether they took them or not just by drinking them in the water. It seems that all of America's problems can be blamed on what is in the water.
- Dr. FeelGood "Pharmaceuticals found in the USA's drinking water supply". Yahoo, March 9, 2008