UnNews:The Internet battle is forced to stop
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|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
10 December 2006
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The reason for this violence is because the New Age activists are against paper usage in schools and public buildings, and would rather have them use computers. However, the Shakes People hate using computers as it will encourage a corrupt society. Therefore on a daily basis, the two factions arrange to meet up and kick some sense into each other.
Exclusively to UnNews, new discoveries have been discovered. You will have to make the most of this slaughter because the current bonanza might not last forever. Local authorities have found out where these are taking place and are currently cracking down on pointless murdering.
I think there is no doubt that growth in retarded deaths was increasing, but there seems to be some heavy decline of late, after a number of the regulars found out that it was a crime.
Larry Killman, World Association of Newspapers said "The Shakes people are still not sure what to do about the internet, no matter how determined they are to prove that paper is a viable option, the New Age people still argue back, and butcher their wives and children."
But Larry Killman of the World Association of Newspapers believes that paper is "far from dead".
With all this killing and bloodshed at an end, police units struggle with what to do with themselves.
- ↑ This has nothing to do with the news article, what. So. Ever.
- ↑ For example instead of talking on the phone/in person, they would talk using IRC.