UnNews:Thailand entices tourists back after mayhem

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3 June 2010

Bangkok-tourist

Thai girl uses old Vulcan “mind-trick” to get tourist to say, “Listen, Thai girls are great, and getting laid IS ‘essential-travel’ - so I’m right here in Bangkok!”

BANGKOK, Thailand -- The Thai government launched travel incentives in a bid to win back the world's travelers as government advisories are reduced, causing confidence in Bangkok to slowly return.

After 2 months of total chaos, lawlessness, powerless police, and frustrated Army, all culminating in over 80 deaths, 1,800 injuries, and 36 buildings (including Asia’s 2nd largest shopping center, Central World) burned down by insane anarchist Red Shirts, -- temporary calm has finally returned to Thailand.

But Thailand is determined to make the best of it by promoting chaos in their travel incentives. They say that whatever way it goes Bangkok promises excitement, such as the usual Go Go dancing, super poontang, gourmet food, and awesome temples.

And beside these attractions there is a great possibility to spice-up your life with snipers, firebugs, assassinated rogue generals, blood-pouring rituals, live-firing, burning tires, APCs, black militia/magic/smoke, terrorism warrants, VIP prisons, dead journalists, travel advisories, Kevlar, empty streets, failed compromises, broken deadlines, government statements, razor wire, outraged letters to the editor, burnt-out buildings and disputed body counts.

On the front page of today’s Hong Kong Standard is the headline “Bangkok’s Back.” The Standard reports that there are some great deals for Hong Kong residents looking for cheap trips with all the thrills in Thailand now that the government has lowered its travel advisory against Thailand from the top warning level, black, down to red.

The United States recently downgraded the warning advising American citizens to avoid all travel to Bangkok, though it still advises against ‘non-essential’ travel to Thailand at this time.

“Listen, Thai girls are great and getting laid IS ‘essential-travel!’” Said an anonymous traveler in Bangkok.

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