UnNews:Tesla world battery developed by Russia

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Tesla world battery developed by Russia

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4 March 2015

Tesla battery

Russia’s Tesla World Battery

MOSCOW, Russia -- Russian Foreign Minister Serge Lavrov announced that Russia has produced a single battery potent enough to project Russian power throughout the entire planet.

“We are ready to unveil our Tesla World Battery, which could power all huts, houses, businesses, barber shops, topless bars and discos in the entire world,” Lavrov said, on the sidelines of the Minsk World War III “time-out” conference.

“The new universal battery will be fully operational this month,” Chief Technology Officer JB Karnotaz stated, adding that the idea is “Захватывающий” — that is, “rad.”


Genius among Internet memes, Nikola Tesla, the inventor of electricity, ray guns and the microwave

“The power source will, of course, be in Moscow, and the world connect plugs will be wirelessly linked to converter satellites located in space, orbiting the earth. All countries in the world can have wireless, satellite-driven terminals, which convert the power from DC into AC, and then redirect it throughout existing power grids,” Lavrov said, with a perfect Russian accent. The massive scope of the proposed system overcomes the problem of "earthing" the power.

”In this manner, the world can plug into our new Tesla battery out of brotherhood and consideration for all the kindness, understanding, and mutual respect shown to Russia over the years.”


An interface to the World Battery for the home.

The idea was originally the brainchild of Tesla, but its development in the West was initially sabotaged by Thomas Edison, and then blocked by Big Anglo-Oil, except in Russia, where it has been developed and perfected by Gazprom, which created the diesel-guzzling Tesla battery by following the great Meme's instructions to a T.

“We will give free energy to the whole world,” said Lavrov with a grin — “Our pleasure!”


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