UnNews:Temperatures in Cape Breton up and down more than a whore's drawers

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15 December 2008

Frostheaves

Because of the flucations in temperature, frost heaves such as this have appeared in roads all across Cape Breton Island

Glaciation

Mira River on December 6th, 2008.

Mirariversummer

Mira River just 6 days later on December 12th

Sydney, Nova Scotia (UnNews) - Cape Breton has experienced some weird and wild weather the past few weeks. Records have been set all month for both record highs and record lows. Temperatures reached record highs of 33°C on December 12th, just six days earlier on December 6th, temperatures reached record lows of -26°C. Because of the extreme flucations in temperatures, frost heaves have began appearing in many of the roads in Cape Breton. Cracks large enough to swallow cars have opened up on some streets in Glace Bay. Holes have also opened up and swallowed several houses in both Glace Bay and New Waterford. Thirteen people remain missing but authorities have been too lazy to search for them. Flash freezes occuring at night have also been common in the past couple of weeks. This rapid freezing led to a 60-car pile-up on the Glace Bay-Sydney highway. Fifteen people's corpses were mangled and pulverized into dust in the fiery crash. The highway was closed for over 12 hours while Police and Paramedics swept debris and body parts off of the highway.

The extreme change in temperature has also triggered severe wind and thunderstorms. Severe weather has occured on a number of nights with rain, freezing rain, ice pellets, hail, thunder and lightning, and tornadoes all occuring simutaneously. Several F2 tornadoes touched down outside of the Sydney city limits. No people were hurt but it is estimated that 13 raccoons and 5 coyotes lost their lives. Hurricane force winds have also downed trees and knocked out power. Nova Scotia Power spokesman Dick Head says that power should be restored to most residents sometime after Christmas. Mayor Morgan has declared a state of emergency and members of the Cape Breton Liberation Army Highlander Division have been brought in to maintain order. General James Rideout says that members have been strategically deployed to various areas in Glace Bay, Sydney, and New Waterford to prevent looting and rioting. Because many roads have become impassable due to frost heaves, debris, and ice, supplies to Cape Breton have been cut off and people are fighting for whatever is left. James Jefferson, a local pilot and members of the Cape Breton Air Force left the David Dingwall International Airport on December 7th bound for Europe and will stock up on women, food, and wine to bring back to Cape Breton. They are expected back on Tuesday and will give Cape Bretoners an early Christmas gift. When the supplies arrive, Mayor John Morgan hopes the state of emergency can be lifted and Cape Bretoners can return to living normally.

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