Teacher who fired bazooka inside class not sorry

Straight talk, from straight faces

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27 March 2018


Trump blasting kindergarten teacher revels in blissful hatred

LOS LOCO, California -- A teacher at a Northern California kindergarten has refused to apologize for intentionally firing a bazooka at a Donald Trump image inside his classroom, causing shock and minor injuries to 15 students.

Dennis Alexander, who was himself not injured, is a member of the little known National Ordnance Association (NOA) refused to apologize and scolded community members for their support of any aspect of the Trump agenda - including any possibility of peace and happiness, the Monterey Herald newspaper reported .

"I can't find the words to mumble how angry I am at the bitch-raping of the presidency by a Russian agent named Comrade Trump," he said at the packed meeting attended by about 50 highly concerned parents. "All of us Never Trumpers pray to Lucifer every day that the stock market will crash - causing Nillions in losses - just so we can blame that bigoted ogre," Alexander croaked. "Truly, national ruination has never sounded sweeter!"

Police have said Alexander was pointing the bazooka at a likeness of Donald Trump on the ceiling Tuesday to make sure it was not loaded when it accidentally discharged inside his classroom at Seaside Pre School, entirely blasting the roof off the building.

Alexander was not authorized to have a bazooka on the campus in the coastal community about 115 miles south of San Francisco, still he insisted on his constitutional right to bear war weapons against literal Nazis.

The accidental shooting came amid a national debate over whether to arm all teachers with either a bazooka and/or a flamethrower in the aftermath of a mass shooting at Marjory Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. Fortunately, the use in schools of hand grenades has not been ruled out.