UnNews:Tarantula-pug dog cloned successfully

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Tarantula-pug dog cloned successfully

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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26 December 2009


Cute and cuddly, yes... but they're poisonous as Hell!

CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts -- Against the better judgment of their peers, two rogue scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have released the results of a cloning experiment six years in the making. Originally funded by the United States Army, the project was intended to develop animal hybrids for battle situations, especially those involving psychological warfare.

"One of the goals of this research was the development of a special series of counter-terror terror weapons, a sort of a tit for tat approach to unconventional warfare," says General Walter McRue of the USAMRID. "They blow off a roadside bomb, we send in fifty tarantula-pug dog hybrids to run a muck and scare the bejesus out of them (the enemy)."

The new species is also extremely venomous, and can dispatch up to 4 enemy soldiers in the space of half an hour.

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