UnNews:Tampa Bay wide receiver catches Florida toddler
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
23 April 2011
TAMPA, Florida -- A toddler who fell from the top of a twenty-four-story hotel here nearly escaped injury after being caught by a professional football player who was passing by. Unfortunately, the wide receiver, enthused by the successful catch, spiked the baby, causing instant death.
Jahna Myles, 16 months, apparently slipped through the balcony railing and fell into the arms of Joe Beard. Mr. Beard, wide receiver for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, was at the pool at Tampa's Economy Lodge hotel when he saw the baby hanging from above and ran underneath, he said.
Having successfully caught the infant he slammed the baby to the ground in excitement at his amazing achievement. The baby is reported to have died immediately after the successful catch, and several minutes before emergency medical workers arrived.
An investigator with the Tampa sheriff's office reported that Beard had been taken into custody, charged with Unsportsmanlike conduct, and penalized 15 yards.
Police said no criminal charges were pending.
- Staff "Florida balcony fall baby saved by British tourist". BBC, April 23, 2011