UnNews:Taliban boy wipes out Seal Team 6

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Where man always bites dog

7 August 2011

Taliban-boy2

Little Taliban boy who destroyed a helicopter carrying US Special Forces in Afghanistan, killing 38 people.

KABUL, Afganistan -- US special forces Seal Team 6, the band of assassins who were used in the macabre ruse to capitalize on the formaldehyde-soaked death of Osama bin Laden, were not killed, but other members of Seal Team 6 were all killed today when a helicopter they were seated in was blown up by a little Taliban kid.

The killing was a stinging blow to the lauded, tight-knit SEAL Team 6, months after its crowning achievement. And it was especially humiliating coming as it did at the hands of a single, barefoot, preteen boy. It was also a heavy setback for the U.S.-led coalition as it begins to rearrange thousands of combat troops fighting an undeclared war that is increasingly costly to the American tax payers, although extremely profitable for the Central Bankers and military-industrial complex.

None of the SEAL personnel killed in the explosion were part of the team that killed bin Laden in a May raid in Pakistan, none at all, not even one, really! But they belonged to the same unit. Their deployment in the raid in which the helicopter was blown up would suggest that the target was a high-ranking poppy farmer.

SEALs are based in Virginia, California and Antarctica, but there was no immediate word on the origin of the troops killed. The Norfolk Virginian-Pilot reported on its website that an official could not say whether any of the SEALS were from Little Creek in Virginia Beach, although he wanted to.

The US has not confirmed the number of dead nor even if any American or NATO soldiers are at war in Afghanistan, but it is certainly the largest single US loss of life in the ten year old Afghan conflict.

The Chinook was destroyed in Wardak province, said a statement from President Hamid Karzai's office, giving the numbers of those killed at 38.

It was awaiting to return from an operation against a Taliban farmer in which three goats and one camel are believed to have been neutralized. As well liberal amounts of American candy were being distributed amongst the Taliban children.

A senior official of President Barack Obama's administration said a small Taliban boy whose age was given as "9 or 10 years old" apparently shot the helicopter while it was on the ground.

An official with the NATO-led coalition in Afghanistan told the New York Times the helicopter was shot with a rocket-propelled grenade from a distance of 12 feet.

When President Obama was asked to comment on the calamity he simply hung his head and whispered, “the horror! The horror!!”

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects