UnNews:TZOD UPDATE: UK struck
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TZOD UPDATE: UK struck
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 6, 2016, 02:44:UTC)(
28 March 2009
LONDON, United Kingdom -- It has come. Nobody cared as The Time Zone of Death swept across the world: first New Zealand, then Australia, Singapore, Korea, China, Russia and so on. They thought things would just take care of themselves. They thought nothing would change whether the Monarch ruled or not. Complacency reeked throughout the United Kingdom.
Earth Hour has arrived to the British Isles. The familiar wave of confused and terrified faces seen elsewhere in the world now washed over those of the British as darkness descended, and people panicked, and stuff were stolen and alliterations were alliterated.
"We shall go on to the end," declared Prime Minister Tony Blair, "we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!"
"Goodnight then: sleep to gather strength for the morning. For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn. Vive la France!" taunted Blair, no doubt making plenty fun of Gordon Brown.
Brown silently back-pedalled, only saying, "Ask not what your country can do for you..."
As the meeting at the House of Commons came to a close, nothing was really decided and The Time Zone of Death continues to march towards the Americas, with only some 4 hours until it reaches the United States - 8:30 P.M. local time, wherever you are.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|