UnNews:TZOD UPDATE: S. Korea ravaged, N. Korea and Japan unaffected by Earth Hour
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TZOD UPDATE: S. Korea ravaged, N. Korea and Japan unaffected by Earth Hour
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, June 30, 2015, 20:50:UTC)(
28 March 2009
SEOUL, South Korea -- In a revelation so shocking, it defies gravity, the question of just who is responsible for the ongoing Time Zone of Death disaster (Earth Hour for short) as it sweeps the world at 8:30 P.M. local time may just have had some light shone on it - no pun intended.
In what was only a few microseconds ago, the Time Zone of Death had obliterated the city of Seoul in South Korea, leaving millions in the dark and many insurance companies unhappy. Meanwhile, the nation's evil counterpart, North Korea, as well as Japan was absolutely unaffected. Very quickly, this has lead to the speculation that especially North Korea - the country where no cameras are allowed in or out, where freedom is fnord and the dictator may possibly be undead - was somehow part of the masterminding effort of the conspiracy.
"It is terrible, and I think it is all very clear desu," said the president of S. Korea. "I hope the America will soon go to war with them in the near future desu."
"While I agree with Mr. Lee that what has happened is a terrible thing," commented Prime Minister Han Seung-soo, "even I think we may all be jumping to conclusions a little too soon used. I think what did not happen in Japan is even more suspicious used. We should war with them first used."
The Prime Minister of Japan had little to say on the matter.
"We are a little sad to hear of the unfortunate events that has occured in South Korea and elsewhere desu," he said in a press statement. "Or at least the minority of Japanese who are unusual to enjoy Korean dramas desu. On the matter of why the Time Zone of Death did not affect us, all I can say is that our special task forces in JSDF had acted covertly to prevent the disaster from happening here in the mother country desu."
After interviewing one of the members of said special task force, we at UnNews agree with the prime minister that neither Japan nor North Korea has anything to do with the Earth Hour disaster desu. Let us report about the conspiracy in other countries now desu.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|