UnNews:TZOD UPDATE: Rich people stolen in Russia!
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TZOD UPDATE: Rich people stolen in Russia!
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, September 1, 2015, 14:51:UTC)(
“In Soviet Russia, Sparta is YOUUUUUUU!”
28 March 2009
MOSCOW, Russia -- It is a sign that Death is come to Europe with the fall of nearby Moscow to the dark devastation of Earth Hour. Home to the billionaires, nobody would have cared if some people in Moscow were to have a thing or two stolen during the mysterious hour of impenetrable darkness. But that wasn't what happened.
People themselves were being stolen.
Our Russian correspondant reports: Alarm began to infiltrate into the minds of many by this unexpected twist on the Time Zone of Death global disaster. What is the true goal behind the Earth Hour conspiracy?
"For long time, we thought these thieves of darkness like the Robin Hood and merry men, da?" Rashid Nurgaliyev of Internal Affairs said in a statement. "We thought maybe we can has the riches if we poor. But this! This is not Robin Hood! This is madness!"
At this point, your UnNews correspondant was unable to withhold a sudden urge to exclaim an old meme, and was next booted out of the press room. In the words of the late Australian UnNews correspondant, we at UnNews will do what none dare do before! Even at the expense of the latest vital news information.
All that we know now after these strange events at Moscow is that, indeed, this is not Sparta(!!!).
This has been LOLkitten in Moscow, signing out and being deported.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|