UnNews:TV Presenter "should be shot at dawn" for swearing on air

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7 October 2009

07102009

"I've just sat on my own cock!"

LONDON, UK -- HYSTERICAL VIEWERS HAVE CALLED ON Bosses of Britain's "best loved" Breakfast show GMTV to have one of its presenters shot after a reporter screamed the F-word whilst trying unsuccessfully to get an intelligent sentence out of competition winner Beryl Dankashane, 45 of Ipswich.

Ms Dankashane, an unemployed dock whore, who had just won £100 after correctly reciting the 1 times table backwards in less than three minutes responded, when asked how it felt to win £100, in series of soft grunts and whoops followed by a trumpet-like fart that instigated the reporter to swear.

"F**k me woman are you even f**king human? Can't you answer one f**king simple question!?", the reporter uttered in exasperation before looking off camera, "is this the sort of f**kwit that watches this program!?"

The reporter immediately apologised to families for turning the air blue but his outburst triggered literally tens of official complaints from morals campaigners demanding he be blindfolded and shot in the head.

Dr Adrian Shatthed of the Family Focus campaign said the reporter should be "shot immediately" for the outburst. Dr Shatthed said: "This man is a professional person and he should do his job professionally, but he had failed to do so and so should be executed."

"Everyone needs to be responsible for their own actions and using expletives of this nature on a breakfast programme shows that the reporter does not deserve to live."

"Its a twatting, shitting fucking bastarding disgrace!", he added.

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