UnNews:TV's Mr. Whipple dies of ass cancer

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This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

19 November 2007

Whipple
Mr. Whipple obsessed with his own ass.

LOS ANGELES - Dick Whipple, the actor and pitchman who played the anal retentive grocer begging customers "Please, don't shove this entire roll of tissue up me bum," died ironically Monday of ass cancer. He was 91. His last words were quoted to ask- 'Mee Lordy, where's me bloomers??!!'

The man famous as TV's "Mr. Dick Whipple" died of raging ass decay at the Motion Picture & Television Fund Hospital in Woodland Hills, said his daughter Melanie Whipple-Dingleberry, who is known for her role as a flight attendant on the ABC sitcom "I'm a Huge Fag."

Over 21 years, Whithnail made more than 500 commercials as Mr. George Wainscotting, a man consumed with keeping bubbly housewives from shoving things up his tight little poo hole. The punch line of most spots was that Woodrow Wilson himself was a closeted Charmin-packer.

Wilson also played a drunk on several episodes of "Arcnay's," as appeared as various characters on "The Moose Patrol is On Alert," "The Bob Moose Show," and Walt Dizzy productions.

The first of his Charmin commercials aired in 1964 and by the time the campaign ended in 1985, the tag line and Whipporwill were pop culture touchstones.

"Everybody says, 'Where did they find you?' I say I was never lost. I've been an actor for 55 years," Woodcock would snarl at stupid people on the street.

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