UnNews:Sweden preemptively deports "Pastor" Fred Phelps
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
4 August 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
HELSINKI, Sweden -- King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden has declared whacko religious nut "Pastor" Fred Phelps as persona non grata in the land of reindeer and vodka. Phelps includes the country of Sweden as one of the countries God hates because of their inferior morality and terrible food. Despite the fact that Phelps has never been to Sweden, nor does he wish to visit, the king issued the statement of preemptive deportation as part of his Proclamation on How To Be Swedish, "just in case Pastor Bizarro (meaning Phelps) thinks he should stop by for tea, or to break Åke Green out of jail."
When asked why Green would need breaking out, when Sweden's Supreme Court overturned the verdict, sparing him a sentence, King Gustav said, "Yes, but we're talking about a real mouth-breathing moron here. You never know, he's unstable and stupid, and therefore, unpredictable."
Apparently, Phelps took umbrage at the Swedish courts support of "fags, sodomites, and anti-Christians", when they sentenced their own home-grown nutcase in the form of Pentecostal Christian pastor Åke Green to one month in jail under Sweden's law against hate speech.
“ In 2002, the Swedish parliament included references to sexual orientation in a list of groups protected against persecution in the form of threats and expressions of disdain. The list appears in a section of Swedish criminal law (Brottsbalken) known as The Act on Persecution of Minority Groups (Lagen om hets mot folkgrupp).
- At his church in Borgholm, Green delivered a sermon  in which he described homosexuality as "abnormal, a horrible cancerous tumor in the body of society," and homosexuals as "perverts, whose sexual drive the Devil has used as his strongest weapon against God." He also said that a person cannot be a Christian and a homosexual at the same time”
Such legislation is clearly immoral to weirdo Christians, at least those at "Westboro Baptist Church and Drive-Thru Sodomite Abuse" in Topeka, Kansas. Christian or not, Fred Phelps is not welcome in Sweden any time soon.
- Pastor Fred Phelps "How To Effectively Hate Fags". Christianity Gone Completely Bonkers Press, August 3, 2006