UnNews:Supreme Court throws out Gargamel Case
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11 August 2007
Waco, Texas-- Friday, SCotUS unanimously concurred that the "78 counts of 'cruelty to animals' and 14 of 'destruction of fungal homes without a permit'" be dropped and that Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie; A.K.A. Gargamel, A.K.A. that big Meany; be found not guilty on all accounts and be released immediately upon completion of the hearing due to the findings in Azrael's (Gargamel's Cat/lover) droppings back in March.
Walker, was sent out to investigate the droppings of Azrael, whom previously was staying with Gargamel’s God-Father Balthazar in Martha's Vineyard, MA. Walker, after kicking some butt and taking some names, cleaned Azrael’s litter box and sent the droppings out to UCLA for further examination.
Prof. James D. Buffet, Director of the Bio-Criminal Investigation Dept. at UCLA reported: “I found the remnants of Smurf berries, little white booties and hats, traces amounts of meow mix, and lastly parts of all 12 missing Smurfs”. On a side note Prof. Buffet (or Jimmy as he preferred) was found in a drunken state wandering an undisclosed beach later that next morning with a guitar in hand. Buffett told officials that he was " Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt". California State Trooper Mike Hunt told UNNews that: "Some people claim that there is a women to blame....but I know, it's only his darn fault".
Fox News and Neil Cavuto covered the Smurf's reactions. Papa Smurf claimed that this was a travesty of justice. Papa Smurf blames George W. Bush for putting Smurfs down as suspects in the war against terror, and the Supreme Court for not respecting the rights of Smurfs that were murdered. "Smurf, what the smurf is this world coming to, by smurf? A Smurf cannot smurf justice in a smurfing democracy anymore." spoke Papa Smurf. This is just like the time that the USA bombed the VietSmurf village during the Vietnam Conflict, Papa Smurf claims. The US government still denies responsibility for the destruction of the Smurfs Vietsmurf village.
- Modusoperandi "UnNews:Supreme Court decision nail in coffin for Gargamel". Smurfs, January 23,2007
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|