UnNews:Supermodel Heidi Klum gives birth to seal's son
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Supermodel Heidi Klum gives birth to seal's son
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, May 27, 2017, 19:36:UTC)(
24 November 2006
WASHINGTONIA DC (Reuters) - Supermodel Heidi Klum has given birth to the son of a male elephant seal. It is the first seal-human hybrid ever produced. The pup was born today in Washington after a sexual relationship had occurred between the seal and Klum. Klum who has become dissatisfied with the males of her own species, prefers the genitalia of the much larger elephant seals. Elephant seal penises can reach over 14 inches in length when fully erect. The sexual liaisons between Klum and the seal were alleged to have taken place back in January and as a result Klum became pregnant with the seal's offspring.
Klum's baby son is also the first member of a new species. Scientists have named the infant Mirounga beastalis. The first name represents the generic name of the seal father, the specific epithet represents the method of conception. It is not known if this is the name that Klum will call her infant. Klum has two other children. One produced by a British singer, the other by a racecar driver.
Klum's liaisons with the seal were alleged to have taken place on the California coast in late January. The type of seal she mated with was a Northern Elephant Seal. These seals usually have a harem with 30 to 100 females but Klum chased away the other females out of jealously. The resident male didn't seem to mind though, Klum had tighest pussy he had ever had. Klum's insatiable sexual appetite also ensured that he wouldn't become distracted by the other females. It is alleged that the male seal has inflitrated all three of the major orifices of Klum's body. Moans of pleasure were heard as far away as San Francisco, which is 20 miles to the south.
Klum has come under fire by religious groups who claim that beastiality is an affront to God but she insists that she is doing the right thing for both herself and her seal lover. She claims that "people just don't understand what it feels like to get pounded with a foot long seal cock". She also said if these religious fanatics would allow themselves to experience the intense pleasure of seal, many of their criticisms would disappear. She says that no one is above mating with seals and points out that disgraced Pastor Ted Haggard was caught being sodomized by a male elephant seal off the coast of Alaska last month. She is lobbying the recently elected Democratic House and Senate to legalize seal-human marriage. Klum and her seal lover plan to tie the knot on February 14th.