UnNews:Super Bowl XLII cancelled!
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Super Bowl XLII cancelled!
Straight talk, from straight faces
Sunday, August 20, 2017, 15:52:UTC)(
30 January 2008
Fans rioted when Cookie Monster declared the Super Bowl canceled. Today, in a disturbing press release, the Cookie Monster has declared the Super Bowl canceled. Tom Brady is sad; the Giants are declared victorious.
“I was really really bummed when I heard about Supa-Sunday. I heard Madonna was going to be on again; I even invited my friends over to slob on my knob!”
When asked to comment on his decision, Monster would only say "M4H c00|<!3Z!!1111" and preceded to lock Arizona's door. Rumor has it that Cook has his "stash" spread out all over the country of Arizona, as well as some Pokemon videos and maybe some hookers. The President of the mole people had only this to say:
“We are going to do our best to hunt down and painfully torture Monster; nobody has the right to do what he did when he was doing the things he did after he said he was going to do what he did when he did that.”
The Patriots are disappointed with their loss against the now undefeated Giants.
“We were very upset with our loss, and with Mr. Monster. We know that our record wasn't the best- in fact, it was the worst record since 1683 (when foozball was first invented), but we still thought we could win it.”
We asked Mr. Patriots if he was going to sue Cookie Monster, and he instantly began banging his head on the wall until he became un-consciences.
“If I had a bowl that big, I'd fill it with cookies and then eat it!”
In other news, our sources also tell us that Sandy Cheeks, recent voted "#1 Tree-Huggin' Hippy" by Uncyclodpedia members, is considering shutting down the Ozone layer to put a end to the Space Olympics. Maybe next year, Dubya; maybe next year.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|