UnNews:Sudanese demand "Muhammed" teddy-bear "be burnt, shot, hung and fed to wild pigs"
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Sudanese demand "Muhammed" teddy-bear "be burnt, shot, hung and fed to wild pigs"
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, February 9, 2016, 13:17:UTC)(
30 November 2007
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE MARCHING in Khartoum calling for the teddy called Mohammed to be executed. The teddy bear, Mohammed, has up to now escaped punishment after infidel teacher dog bitch, who shamefully named it after the prophet Moses, was sent to prison yesterday for her evil part in the ongoing global conspiracy against us all!
According to Sura 41, paragraph 3, line 7, footnote 12, all teddy bears named after Mohammed, Moses, O.J. Simpson or any other great Muslim prophet, should be executed after a 12 second hearing in a Sharia Court of Law.
Sudanese Islamic spokesman Quahalla Muhbigshittah (pictured left) reflected many people's anger saying that the teddy in question should be brought to task and "torn limb from limb and cast into a pile of burning tyres!"
The righteous protesters took to the streets carrying knives and sticks, chanting "shame on the lovely fluffy teddy" and "rip its f**king ears off". The teddy initially escaped conviction mainly because it is an inanimate childs' toy and as such supposedly not subject to the rule of law. This has been deemed plainly unacceptable by the high clerics who demand the bear face "righteous holy justice under Allah"
Quahalla Muhbigshittah echoed the thoughts of every right-thinking madman in an impromptu sermon to the rabid lynch mob, "this cute little toy is plainly an evil abomination and must be stopped from corrupting our children!"
The Teddy Bear Mohammed (peas be upon him) is quoted as saying, "Thank God I am not human."
Pupil, Mohammed (peas be upon him) Akbar, shortly before being stoned to death, shamefully defended the infidel teacher AND bear this morning, "oh for Christ's sake the f++king rag was named after me," he said, "you really are a bunch of raving lunatics, aren't you?"