UnNews:Study shows explosions are bad for both buildings and homes
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Study shows explosions are bad for both buildings and homes
A newsstand that's brimming with issues
Monday, May 25, 2015, 14:42 (UTC)
30 April 2011
KILSYTH, Scotland After a Kilsyth explosion at a building site badly damages homes, authorities are now convinced that explosions are detrimental to the safety of homes, as well as buildings. The incident involved a controlled blast at a site operated by Dusk Homes, off Kilsyth's Sterling Road.
Emergency services were called to the scene at about 14:20 BST. Police said no-one had been injured and about five homes had been damaged. This was part of a current study at nearby St. Andrews University.
"We really had no idea of the simple connection between large explosions and the destruction of property"
—Kilsyth Minister of Housing: Eggbert Plumb
Controlled experiments in the labs of United College, St, Andrews, has repeatedly confirmed what the Kilsyth hypothesis suggested. Mainly it is that explosions wreck stuff, be they cars, homes buildings, and sometimes even people. Suspicions of this have been around since the 90s Unabomber case, but until the United College study, there was no hard data. "Reproducible results are what we are after with this study", says lead research Dwight Ladderback. "My paper on the results is on peer review sites like Scribd already. Hopefully it will get in one of the journals people actually take the plastic off and put on their office shelves."
Skeptics such as the Council of Exploding Things, the International Fireworks, and M80 Manufacturer's Association have already cast their doubts.
|This is slander, people love their homes, and if they start associating explosions with home wrecking, they may stop buying explosives!|
—an un-named pundit
MTV's hit show Jackass has already planned a recreation of exploding houses as has the Discover Channel's MythBusters program. Both expect high ratings on this yet-to-be accepted subject. Executive producer for Explosions at MTV Networks, Seth Green is looking forward to the project.
|I like exploding things.|
—Seth Green, Jackass
- Staff "Kilsyth explosion in building site badly damages homes". BBC News, April 14, 2011