UnNews:Stolen copy of Craven's "Scream" film recovered by police
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Stolen copy of Craven's "Scream" film recovered by police
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, May 22, 2017, 17:39:UTC)(
1 September 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
OSLO, Norway -- A local video store's copy of the 1996 classic film "Scream" was recovered by police today, after being stolen in a daring heist two years ago. Only three thousand and five hundred copies of Wes Craven's film exist in Norway, and each is considered very valuable by collectors. A copy of the director's less known "Red Eye" was also recovered during the investigation.
The robbery, which occurred in August of 2004, is still fresh on the minds of clerk Olaf Jurgen, who was working at the Oslo Blockbuster at the time. "It was terrifying," he recalls, "two masked gunmen rushed into the store and headed straight for the horror section. They were out of there in less than two minutes." He went on to explain that the criminal masterminds must have known the layout of the store beforehand. Police say Jurgen is lucky to be alive.
The Blockbuster installed a new security system after the theft. The magnetic detectors that beep when someone takes out a video that hasn't been checked out clearly weren't enough. A set of security cameras now keep a watchful eye on the premises. Stores across the country have implemented similar measures.
Not wanting to reveal valuable tactics, police are largely silent about the methods they used to recover the stolen videos. What is known is that they've had experience with this type of crime before - in 1994, a different copy of "Scream" was stolen from Oslo's public library. The thieves were apprehended a few months later when undercover agents posed as teenage girls wanting to watch the movie.
Blockbuster officials and Craven fans across the world were thrilled at the film's recovery. "Scream," along with "Scream 2" are real classics of the 1990s, according to experts. "We don't care so much about 'Red Eye," admitted one critic, "but we're still glad it was recovered." Olaf Jurgen, who maintains his post at the Oslo video store, hopes the recovered DVDs will soon be available for rental again. "I'm sure the public is eager to watch them," he explained.
Police say it's remarkable that the movies were found in relatively good condition. "The "Scream" DVD case was a little scratched, and it looks like someone spilled beer on the "Red Eye" box, but the discs themselves are intact. We already watched them down at the station," commented lead investigator Hans Goteborg.