UnNews:Steven Seagal joins Chuck Norris in World War3 dates. Exclusive Interview
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
1 December 2006
Hollywood, California-Steven Seagal has joined Chuck Norris in his plans for World War III. In the following interview, Seagal explains why he decided to support Chuck on this matter.
Q: Before we get into the topic of discussion, I must ask you the first question posed to Chuck Norris; are your Balls also made of steel? A: No, actually iron. Iron is a lot cheaper than steel.
Q: Very good. So why join Chuck for WWIII? A: Take a look around. The world is a different place. It has changed vastly since the days I was throwing Jamaicans through windows and making kool-aid. The time has come to make peace on this earth.
Q: But don't you think war only leads to more death, instead of peace? A: (silence and stare).
Q: Uuh well anyway, do you have some type of mutual respect for Chuck? A: Absolutely. I respect him on so many different levels. One time we did battle at a local Mexican fast-food joint over the last burrito. In the end, we decided to split the burrito since we both knew neither of us could win. Any other guy would have got his ass kicked in less than 10 seconds but Chuck was definitely a challenge.
Q: So as Chuck pointed out, World War III will be in the summer of 2007? A: Yes we've agreed to have it at that time. I actually have a need to kill more during the holiday season; especially Santa Clauses, who's heads I love to kick in at the mall. But summer is cool for me since the NBA post-season will be done by then.
I thanked Seagal after the interview and asked him very quickly if he would be using his death by stare finisher in WWIII to which he replied "only if I have a burrito with me".