Stephen Colbert advocates severing US ties with Philadelphia

Straight talk, from straight faces

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19 May 2009


The inimitable Stephen Colbert; patriot with a secret Catholic agenda or smarmy pundit on drugs?

NEW YORK, New York -- Conservative pundit, one-time Presidential front runner and devout Catholic Stephen Colbert is at it again. This time he's one-upped Texans and their governers' hints at secession from the United States.

Colbert, once a promising stand up comic with a hobby of megalomania, is today the eye candy of the Republican party, creating an obfuscatory cloud cover for the Far-rights' strategic plan to retake America from the intellectuals, Socialists, and those who whine about their so called "Constitutional rights".

Building up credibility on the Daily Show, his Colbert Report show runs half hour slots of his blathering 4 nights a week. The most clever aspect of his cover is that he got the Comedy Channel to pick his show up.

During an interview with Julia Sweig, author of "CUBA: What Everyone Needs To know" on May 8 last, Colbert said "I'm against having ties with Philadelphia". The communist authoress was there to push her tome about the impending warming of relations between the USA and Cuba, and by some wizardry Colbert was able to slip in his latest crusade: expulsion of the city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvanyia from the US.

No one actually knows what Colbert has against Philadelphia, but the absence of evidence is no reason not to think this is connected to his secret hero worship and recent promotion to Master at Arms of Opus Dei Post 133 in New York City.

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